In my late twenties by applying self-development techniques I’d learned from books, I lifted myself out of my mid-twenties crisis. Back then I was like a personal development version of an undercover agent. I was like James Bond (except with less hair and without an Aston Martin in the garage), doing what men are supposed to do right? going it alone! With my new powers and focus, I could manifest anything I wanted. In search of goal achievement glory, I ran a marathon, nailed promotion and traveled around the world for a year.
‘Then something shifted…’
Returning from travel I noticed something was different. The post-travel blues set in as low energy and a state of mild depression took over my psychology. Setting goals and taking action still brought results but something was missing. I tried explaining to my friends that I was facing challenges. But there wasn’t much time for a gentleman who was struggling because he wasn’t traveling around the world (after a whole year) anymore.
Then something shifted. I was listening to a podcast called ‘The New Man’ and the host Tripp Lanier was talking about men’s groups. I was inspired. The moment I took my ear plugs out I knew I’d found my next step. It was time for this undercover agent to admit, with this particular mission he could no longer go it alone. I immediately began my search and through the internet found Kenny D’Cruz’s men’s group service – Menspeak. I liked the sound of what he was offering and without hesitation signed up to a meeting later that month.
After just one meeting I knew I had found the place where I was finally going to get some answers. To share my feelings like this was fantastic and the experience of getting authentic feedback invaluable. Feedback devoid of conditional, pre-defined projections of who I was, was worth it’s worth in gold. It was refreshing to hear I wasn’t the only one who struggled. There were other agents out there feeling insecure and getting angry with themselves sometimes too. Sharing experiences with other men gave me a deeper understanding of where in my psychology current challenges were coming from. By sharing them in this way, I felt clear and able to move on.
‘Missions and Goals’
It was at one meeting when Kenny mentioned Missions and Goals I realised the next stage of my quest. With my personal development knowledge, there was a place in the men’s group arena for a new type of group. Kenny’s groups were about self-awareness and ‘being’, where my group would provide a complementary focus on the ‘doing’ part of the work. My service would be about group accountability and support with taking action for men and their plans. I established the Men’s Action Project (The MAP) in Feb 2012.
Every month leading the group coaching program was a learning curve and I was amazed at the successes and life changes experienced. With the support of my now mentor Kenny I was able to capture key learnings and make improvements to my delivery session on session. On completion we
‘Celebrated our results’
Including; a job promotion, smoking kicked to the curb and a weight loss/fitness goal knocked out of the park. From here I’d go on to run another two group coaching programs.
For five years now I’ve been going at it with the support of like-minded others. In my men’s group, I have a team to regularly discuss both internal and external challenges with. I’ve had my ups and downs, but day by day I am succeeding and learning. A less undercover and more overt operative than in the past. In summary with the support of other men, I’m a more confident, successful and ultimately happier agent than before.
Interested in men’s group coaching? I’m recruiting for a new men's group coaching program starting in January 2018. Details concerning the group coaching program and link to my contact page here:
Want to talk? The button below will take you to Kenny's Menspeak men's group site where you can find out more: