Applying self-development techniques learned from books I’d lifted myself out of my mid-twenties crisis. I was a personal development version of an undercover agent and doing what men are supposed to do right? Going it alone. With my new found powers, I could manifest anything I wanted. In search of goal achievement glory, I ran a marathon, nailed promotion, and then went on to travel around the world for a year.

‘Returning from travel, however, something shifted’

The post-travel blues set in as low energy and a state of mild depression took over my psychology. Setting goals and taking action still brought hard results but it wasn’t enough. I shared with friends that I was facing challenges, but there wasn’t much sympathy for a gentleman struggling because (after a whole year) he wasn’t traveling anymore.

Then something shifted. I was listening to a podcast called ‘The New Man’ and the host Tripp Lanier was talking about men’s groups. I was inspired. I knew I’d found my next step. Time for this undercover agent to admit, he could no longer go it alone. I immediately began my search and through the internet found Kenny D’Cruz’s men’s group service – Menspeak. I liked the sound of what he was offering and without hesitation signed up to a meeting later that month.

After just one meeting I knew I had found the place where I was finally going to get some answers.

‘Sharing what was going on felt fantastic and the resulting feedback invaluable’

It was refreshing to hear I wasn’t the only one who struggled. There were other agents out there feeling insecure and getting angry with themselves too. Sharing experiences with other men gave me a deeper understanding of where in my psychology current challenges were coming from.

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It was in reflection after one of the groups I realised the next stage of my development. With my personal development knowledge, there was a place in the men’s group arena for a new type of program. My group would be about accountability and support with taking action for men and their plans. I established the Men’s Action Group (The MAG) in February 2012.

Designing and leading my program was a steep learning curve, however the support and mentorship Kenny provided proved invaluable.

‘It was incredible how the men really stepped up and responded to the experience’

On completion, we celebrated together. Outcomes achieved by men in the group included: a job promotion, smoking quit, and a swimming fitness goal smashed. Learning and success across the board.

I was hungry for more, running two more men’s group coaching processes and then onto launching my own coaching business in the form ‘The MAP - Men’s Coaching Service’. Ever since my experience I now establish and work towards goals with support. Be that a coach, mentor, or men’s group. By operating less undercover, I’m a more confident, successful, and ultimately happier agent than I ever was before.

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